change yet again.

dee and i barely talk these days. we'd usually plan sleepovers but she ends up sleeping before i get to talk, and i'm usually too tired to talk anyway. so lately i have no outlet of all the pent up frustration i have inside me.

these past few weeks i've been up all night trying to make everything fit, as usual. i always have a plan. always always. i can't ever have a go at something without knowing what to do, what not to do, and how to conduct damage control. yes, i am a control freak, thank you very much.

anyway this is all new to me, and the pieces of the puzzle dont exactly fit together. and that's total panic mode for someone who gets as obsessive compulsive as me.

so today dee and i went shopping. and tomorrow i want to sleep over at her place and not make her sleep until i've poured this all out.

i told dee how starbucks has become such a luxury to me these days. i havent had a cup of their overpriced coffee or a whiff of the intoxicating aroma in at least two months. for someone who used to drink a tall capuccino every morning, two months is a pretty long time. dee keeps offering to get a cup of coffee there but i'd rather not.

the current state of my plans to become the next big thing:

totally confused and therefore kinda screwed.

oh life. sometimes i get too friggin tired of it.

oh and can someone tell me why is it that money makes the effin world go round??? why not love, or hair, or ability to power shop?



i am so freakin frustrated and outta my wits it's painful to read the things i write.

GOD I HATE THIS.