hence my current state

i've been writing again (not blogging). ever since the router got busted, i haven't really gone online and i'd really rather not use the internet unless i'm using benito (my laptop). so i've come to collect quite a few pieces of scrap paper, some torn off used pages, some i steal from the printer tray, most of them the ones within easy reach when i suddenly get a jolt of energy. most times releasing it through a pen gripped in my fingers scratching through processed tree products is the best thing that i could do, given the situation i'm in right now.

i've started working, and in a word, i am miserable.

i never thought i'd get a crap job, but i did, and it sucks. i almost always complain about it, if not to my friends, then in my head. if not in my head, in my dreams, and if not there, i'm pretty sure a part of my soul is crying in agony every second i spend tied to that company.

fine, i'm exaggerating a bit. it's not the worst job in the world. it's not a bad job, to be perfectly honest. it pays well, considering that most of the time you spend just sitting around and doing nothing.

it's just not the job for me.

i can't even begin to try and explain, because unless you've seen it and known it and felt it yourself, you'll just be saying that it's just my ego, my excessive self worth, my incredible self confidence or something of the sort.



bah. im not finishing this entry. i've lost the jolt.