GOALS

i told dee yesterday that i have this big, BIG feeling that i will become famous.

HAHA.

yes. even after all the shit i've found myself in, my dreams of becoming the next big thing appear to not have even dampened or wilted, contrary to what i so thought a few months ago.

i guess i've realized i just need a few more goals to drive at. the past few months were a tough bunch and i really did struggle to get by them. i've been having so many rough patches lately that i'm beginning to forget what the smooth road feels like, especially since every new rough patch leaves an unforgettable mark on my ass.

be that as it may, i have now started making goals for myself again.

benito (my laptop) 's untimely passing on left me a lot more incapacitated than i thought. i haven't been able to use CAD as much, or photoshop my face, check my emails, play on facebook and google silly things. i also havent been able to do research, organize my thoughts, or look for inspiration in the form of josh duhamel.

i've come to accept the fact that my parents wont be giving me anything more than food and lodging from this point on, which is fine, if i had a job that paid well, but i dont, so that pretty much means i have to work my ass of to get a benito jr. which i will need to get my life back and introduce order and a sense of fulfillment to my now chaotic and monotonous existence.

still though, if there's anything i've learned these past few months, it's that you just gotta make it work until you can afford to lose it/replace it/break it/say "in your face" to it.

and that's where goal setting has come in handy for me.

it feels nice to be driving at something. it feels weird to be driving at something with no assurance of anything when you get there, but sometimes, just being out driving is kinda enough already.

at least until you can afford a helluva lot of gas and drive to wherever you wanna go.

but for now, i'm fine right here. soon enough the road will be smooth again and i'm pretty sure my ass will be just fine.

and after that, i'll be famous.

HAHA.