Saturday, July 25, 2009
Saturday, July 18, 2009
GOALS
i told dee yesterday that i have this big, BIG feeling that i will become famous.
HAHA.
yes. even after all the shit i've found myself in, my dreams of becoming the next big thing appear to not have even dampened or wilted, contrary to what i so thought a few months ago.
i guess i've realized i just need a few more goals to drive at. the past few months were a tough bunch and i really did struggle to get by them. i've been having so many rough patches lately that i'm beginning to forget what the smooth road feels like, especially since every new rough patch leaves an unforgettable mark on my ass.
be that as it may, i have now started making goals for myself again.
benito (my laptop) 's untimely passing on left me a lot more incapacitated than i thought. i haven't been able to use CAD as much, or photoshop my face, check my emails, play on facebook and google silly things. i also havent been able to do research, organize my thoughts, or look for inspiration in the form of josh duhamel.
i've come to accept the fact that my parents wont be giving me anything more than food and lodging from this point on, which is fine, if i had a job that paid well, but i dont, so that pretty much means i have to work my ass of to get a benito jr. which i will need to get my life back and introduce order and a sense of fulfillment to my now chaotic and monotonous existence.
still though, if there's anything i've learned these past few months, it's that you just gotta make it work until you can afford to lose it/replace it/break it/say "in your face" to it.
and that's where goal setting has come in handy for me.
it feels nice to be driving at something. it feels weird to be driving at something with no assurance of anything when you get there, but sometimes, just being out driving is kinda enough already.
at least until you can afford a helluva lot of gas and drive to wherever you wanna go.
but for now, i'm fine right here. soon enough the road will be smooth again and i'm pretty sure my ass will be just fine.
and after that, i'll be famous.
HAHA.
HAHA.
yes. even after all the shit i've found myself in, my dreams of becoming the next big thing appear to not have even dampened or wilted, contrary to what i so thought a few months ago.
i guess i've realized i just need a few more goals to drive at. the past few months were a tough bunch and i really did struggle to get by them. i've been having so many rough patches lately that i'm beginning to forget what the smooth road feels like, especially since every new rough patch leaves an unforgettable mark on my ass.
be that as it may, i have now started making goals for myself again.
benito (my laptop) 's untimely passing on left me a lot more incapacitated than i thought. i haven't been able to use CAD as much, or photoshop my face, check my emails, play on facebook and google silly things. i also havent been able to do research, organize my thoughts, or look for inspiration in the form of josh duhamel.
i've come to accept the fact that my parents wont be giving me anything more than food and lodging from this point on, which is fine, if i had a job that paid well, but i dont, so that pretty much means i have to work my ass of to get a benito jr. which i will need to get my life back and introduce order and a sense of fulfillment to my now chaotic and monotonous existence.
still though, if there's anything i've learned these past few months, it's that you just gotta make it work until you can afford to lose it/replace it/break it/say "in your face" to it.
and that's where goal setting has come in handy for me.
it feels nice to be driving at something. it feels weird to be driving at something with no assurance of anything when you get there, but sometimes, just being out driving is kinda enough already.
at least until you can afford a helluva lot of gas and drive to wherever you wanna go.
but for now, i'm fine right here. soon enough the road will be smooth again and i'm pretty sure my ass will be just fine.
and after that, i'll be famous.
HAHA.
Monday, July 13, 2009
choices.
there are some choices that are easy to make. some not so, and some so completely and totally hard that you will spend so many sleepless nights and waste so many hours just trying to make up your mind and convincing yourself that what you're choosing is indeed the right choice.
what-ifs and if-onlys will always be around. no matter what you choose, you can never escape a certain amount of regret and a few ounces of wishfullness over the choice that you had to let go.
choices.
why the hell are there so many of them?
what-ifs and if-onlys will always be around. no matter what you choose, you can never escape a certain amount of regret and a few ounces of wishfullness over the choice that you had to let go.
choices.
why the hell are there so many of them?
Thursday, July 9, 2009
i have no POWER
when a crane accidentally drops things on moving cars and power lines that cut electricity in nearby buildings, it has to be expected that certain things - especially things that require technological gadgets such as computers, printers, scanners, etc. - cannot be done.
and it also has to be accepted that no matter how freaking smart i am or how terribly resourceful i can be, that i have no POWER, and that i cannot just find that and pick it up under the table or on the street or even in the nearby mall and make it possible for a PC to work. because i cannot just magic files into existence. i am still just human.
and no matter what suggestions are made, like dismantling the CPU (and possibly damaging the entire system) or drawing things freehand (all in a matter of 20minutes) or serving OT (til late without assurance that the power will come back) --- sometimes, it is just better to accept that certain things are out of our control.
that is one major thing, i know now, that makes me want to say yes to other opportunities despite the risks i may have to take.
this is weird coming from someone as egoistic as me, but please. learn some humility. not every effin' thing can go your way.
especially if your way is the disorganized, no-sense-of-urgency-or-concept-of-planning-ahead-by-even-the-simple-act-of-buying-a-UPS kind of way.
SERIOUSLY.
and it also has to be accepted that no matter how freaking smart i am or how terribly resourceful i can be, that i have no POWER, and that i cannot just find that and pick it up under the table or on the street or even in the nearby mall and make it possible for a PC to work. because i cannot just magic files into existence. i am still just human.
and no matter what suggestions are made, like dismantling the CPU (and possibly damaging the entire system) or drawing things freehand (all in a matter of 20minutes) or serving OT (til late without assurance that the power will come back) --- sometimes, it is just better to accept that certain things are out of our control.
that is one major thing, i know now, that makes me want to say yes to other opportunities despite the risks i may have to take.
this is weird coming from someone as egoistic as me, but please. learn some humility. not every effin' thing can go your way.
especially if your way is the disorganized, no-sense-of-urgency-or-concept-of-planning-ahead-by-even-the-simple-act-of-buying-a-UPS kind of way.
SERIOUSLY.
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