good days, bad days, and days you just gotta live through

everyone has good days. once in a while (though, for me, more often than not), we have bad days. and then we get those days, which, they're either really bad, or really bah, that we just have to breathe through them and wait until it's all safe and we're ready for the next kind of day life decides to toss our way.

recently, "bad days" has been topping the charts, followed by "bah days", and "good days" comes in last. it's very frustrating to realize, that at this young, twenty-something age of mine, my bad+bah days outnumber my good days, when all around me, other twenty-somethings are partying and traveling and living it up, so to speak. if they're not getting the most out of life (i.e. their parents' huge bank accounts), they're getting the most out of their jobs, working in multinational companies and making more in a month than i do in a quarter, starting up businesses and earning more than i do in a year.

so yes, my bad days and bah days are a side effect of the huge bitterness i carry in my heart, because so far, i can only dream of becoming the next big thing, while they all already are.

not to worry though - i have become so accustomed to harboring bitterness and ill feelings that we have developed sort of a symbiotic relationship - i provide them a safe home, where they can be sure they won't be sent away any time soon, and they provide me with a ready scapegoat for my brooding-ness (if there is such a word), an excuse for my angst, and, on the brighter side of things, a certain drive that i don't get anywhere else but from them.

if there's anything good i get from all this heavy burden, it's that i want to prove everyone how great i can be. no, not good, and not just amazing, but great.



but i have to be honest, it's a bit hard to go about life feeling eternally heavy (and not just because of the few extra pounds i desperately need to lose). i look forward to the days when everything's just bright and wonderful and not a care in the world can shake me.

as of now though, all i can afford for a functioning drive to greatness are these things that make me feel so weighed down and in the dumps. i guess it's a good thing that i've always been the "delayed-gratification" kind of person.



today was a bad day, by the way.

yeah.