blah.

right now all i really want to do is cry.

when things get really frustrating and you find yourself caught right smack in the middle, its just so extremely hopeless all that's left to do is cry.

and yet you can't because you're too tired.

and then you remember how things aren't how you want them to be in the first place, so you get all the more frustrated.

i hate bad days.

two steps behind

i've had this song stuck in my head since this morning when dad dropped me off for work. its currently playing on my itunes now, and im looking forward to singing along during the chorus.

it only takes a minute of your precious time to turn around
i'll be two steps behind

this blog post though, unlike the song, has nothing to do with lovers being supportive or whatever the hell the lyrics are saying. two steps behind speaks to me in a very different sense. indeed.

firstly, i am two steps behind in reaching for my dreams. that's enough said. it's just so extremely frustrating (one, because i cant see my dreams coming true anytime soon, and two, because i have this sinking feeling that the reason i cant see them ahead is because i've lost sight of what they are) that i just dont want to talk about it.

secondly, i think that humanity (and by humanity i am specifically referring to some people in the office, but it would be rude to refer only to them so i am speaking of humanity here. sorry everyone else.) is two steps behind the way they're supposed to be thinking. i dont get why some people are so extremely pointless i see no significance that they have to exist in my perfectly functioning sphere of a comfortable and sensible life.

yes i am on a rant mode, obviously. the pms is kind of starting a bit early, yes yes yes.

thirdly, trying to pull off cheap lame ass pick up lines and shit is so totally two steps behind. get a life and grow up.


-lost momentum. anyway its safe to say im too pissed anuway. goodnight world.-

hooray for the weekend that was

after what seems like a million friggin years, i was reunited with my element. the beach.

it's been so long since i went wrinkly from submerging myself too much in the pool, or my eyes aching from too much chlorine, or feeling extremely awkward in a swimsuit. i've always had my excuses, which ranged from tiredness, having better things to do, to be being allergic to chlorinated water, of which i'm not. anyway, this weekend i had nothing but welcoming thoughts of feeling the sand on my feet and the huge waves in my face, with the taste of the salt water lingering on my tongue.

and what a much needed blast of positivity it brought me! for a few days i was able to forget about how miserable i am with my job, how badly i want to strangle certain people, and how frustrating it is that my dreams are miles and miles and miles away from my grasp.

and indeed it has changed so many things, from how i see my friends to how i want to view life, to how i want to always have a nice place to retreat to if ever i feel the need to refresh myself again.

to prevent myself from divulging cheesey realizations and other things, i will cut my story short to say only that i realized that i have a lot of time ahead of me. for once in my life i should just take things easy and go with the flow.

and hopefully more long weekends with planned getaways are coming. :P

thank god for good friends, good food, and a whole lot of love. ^_^